Our Torah and Jewish calendar are filled with a veritable treasure trove of tradition and meaningful ritual, enabling us to live uniquely enhanced lives filled with memorable moments of celebration and wisdom, all with that inimitable Jewish flavor. Not only are there about a million and one ways that Jewish people can look (see above), but when non-Jewish people say this, what we hear is: "You look like the super-offensive Jewish physical stereotype." Would you go around telling people they look Episcopalian? (So, short answer: No.) The percentage of us who will only date rich guys is the same percentage of all women — or men — who will only date rich people. Just like fellow Jewish women Winona Ryder, Natalie Portman, Dianna Agron, Scarlett Johansson, Idina Menzel, Lea Michele, Mila Kunis, Bar Rafaeli, Kat Dennings, Evan Rachel Wood, Rachel Weisz, Lizzy Caplan, Ashley Tisdale... And furthermore: Granted, I don't get this as often as other Jewish women do, probably because I live in Brooklyn and write about jizz for a living and am generally a weird example.
Our homes are where we show our children what it is important to care about. Lighting Shabbat candles, decorating a sukkah or eating matzah on Passover, putting up mezuzahs on every doorway, laying some Jewish books proudly out on the coffee table, saying Shema Yisrael with our children, hanging out an Israeli flag on Israel’s Independence Day.
A lot of people feel that they need to make a great sacrifice to live out their Jewishness. We can’t be complacent for lack of funding, knowledge, the right address or social circle. These are the definitive moments that can carve a caring Jew out of the stoniest backdrop of threatened assimilation.
We Rachel Weisz’s and Natalie Portman’s of the world know that in order to snag an Adam Brody or Jake Gyllenhall — AKA a Torah-reading, vacation-loving and reasonably tall Jewish husband — we must also deliver the goods. In fact, from the shtetl, to the ghetto, to right here in New York City, we've devoted our lives to it, having watched our mothers do exactly the same.
(With advance notice and a little cajoling, of course, because we're independent, busy people, too.)Behold: all the reasons why Jewish girls make the best wives.
Are you one of those fake redheads who always brags about what a sassy redhead you are?