It may be extremely difficult for him to learn to trust again. In most cases, his ex-wife is someone who will – in some way, shape or form! Whether they share kids, he pays her alimony or simply because she was a large part of his life…you have to accept the fact she is likely to show up from time-to-time.
Don’t get upset when she’s around (whether physically or in his thoughts).
Here are some things to consider when dating the divorced guy versus dating a guy who has never said “I do.” 1. Then again, maybe I’m not giving the never been married guy enough credit. Just be aware that he’s never been married, so up until now, he hasn’t. He’s carrying way less baggage than the divorced guy.
How intimate can that relationship be if you keep up your relationship with them? Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s terrific to stay friends with your ex if the friendship is a natural one that you don’t force, and you do honor your divorce and any new relationships that you or your ex get involved in – that means putting the new boyfriend or girlfriend first, ahead of the ex-spouse.
How’s the new girlfriend or boyfriend going to feel? The way you can judge if your natural friendship with your ex is healthy is if you can stay friends and maintain your own identity without your relationship with your ex interfering in your life or your relationships. When you bump into your ex, say hello or, if you are able, shake hands or hug or kiss on the cheek cordially – the same way you would greet a business associate.
Some divorces are mostly amicable while others are mostly angry and bitter, but they either have children or don’t. You must also see your children at custody exchanges and sports, religious and academic events that are centered on the children. Don’t speak badly of your ex in front of your children EVER.
Even though it’s your ex, it remains your child’s parent.
Just remind yourself that she is part of his reality that you can’t change.