(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME) NOTE – This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________ 5. HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________ ZIP ______ 6. Yes____ No_______ If NO, explain: ________________________________ 7. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________ 4. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks.
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!
___Yes ___No#of years they have been married ______If less than your age, explain why ______________________________________If not explain why ___________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe. Rule Eight: My son has been raised not to hit a lady, so act like one and I will not have to hit you for him.
A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________D. Rule Five: Do not date my son for his money because I am his bank.
__Yes __No (IF YOU ANSWERED ' YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.